This one goes out to those of you who are watching a loved one struggle with addiction. We have all said it a ton of times, don’t judge a person because we don’t know what they have been through. That is easier said than done, especially when we have been hurt, lied to, betrayed so many times, but it is necessary for recovery. Don’t enable their addiction, simply understand it.
While I believe that interventions have their place, I also believe that if you are not careful they can do more harm than good. Let me be up front in saying that I have never sat in front of a panel of friends and family telling me I need to fix my life, I can say I have sat in front of plenty of individuals who wanted the best for me telling me the same things. Here is the problem I see (at least in my own situation), an addict is not in their right state of mind.
I began my addiction looking for somebody to accept me for who I was, I never found that so I started doing the things that the “cool” kids were doing, and it got me their acceptance. Your beloved addicts want to be accepted, and in their depressed state when you tell them that they are destroying their life, they are more than likely hearing how they screwed up again. Love them, they already know they need help, be there to pick them up when they relapse. They are probably in this mess because they at some point did not feel loved, and that is a tough wall to break down.
I have mentioned already how much my parents had done for me in my recovery, what I have not mentioned though is how they never mentioned my meth addiction. They knew I had it, and they would advise me to stop drinking, but for whatever reason when I was on meth, they never brought it up. I believe that if they had told me once again how I needed to fix myself, I probably would have never got clean.
At the end if the day your addict is still a good person, they care, they made a bad choice that is consuming their mind, what they need is to know that you still love them despite their problem. They need to know that you don’t condone their actions, but you understand where they are. If you don’t understand, you will get a lot further with them if you try to see them the way Christ would.