Be a better person

One of the 12 steps to recovery is to apologize, to the people that you have hurt while using. Apologies can be a difficult thing, I’m not sure why, we are simply acknowledging our faults. We are human, we all have them, but it can be so difficult to admit to them. If this is the case for you then at least be a better person. Actions can and do speak louder than words. If it is too much for you to really dig deep into yourself and say I’m sorry, then don’t say it, show it.

Through my years of addiction I have generated a lot of bad feelings towards me, and I can’t blame the people I have offended for having those feelings. For instance, in my drunken, high moments I have unleashed Satan’s hatred to my parents, especially my dad. Now as a sober individual we have a great relationship, you might even say we are good friends. I never offered a formal apology, although there are times that I feel I should I always let my devil win that argument. I do not want to ruin conditions with an awkward apology bringing up the past. He has never brought it up and I have accepted my role as a changed person.

Of course this will not always hold true, there are cases where relationships are too damaged to just pick up over time as the other party sees your changes, maybe the only time you spent with the party was while using and that is all they know of you. In this case an apology is probably going to be required, but if swallowing your pride is the cost of sobriety, it is totally worth it.

Whether your apology is to be assumed or you feel prompted to deliver a formal, verbal apology, just apologize. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to your victims. Not everybody will accept your apology, and that’s ok too, maybe it is not their time to heal yet. Just work on you, and only worry about what you can change.

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