As crazy as it sounds, your family is more than likely going to be your strongest form of support. Yes, even after all of those horrible things we have done to them to get our drugs/alcohol, they still love us and want what’s best for us. It might not be easy, in fact it will probably seem awkward at first. After all, they don’t trust you, and why should they? But trust can be earned back, and love is unconditional. Over time, your family will realize through your changes that you are cleaning up, and the trust will slowly come back.
I remember when I first moved back home, my parents drove a thousand miles in their vehicle to drive my uhaul and camper back with them and meet me at home (my hometown). Were they happy about it? Absolutely not, in fact the look on my dads face could not have been more inconvenienced and agitated (I couldn’t blame him). I could tell upon my arrival that they did not exactly have a lot of faith in my recovery. For years I carried on with my ways as well, but over time I slowly started changing for the better. As I changed, I could sense my parents trust in me being renewed, in fact when we (my father and I) built my mill, he fronted the money for the project. He knew it was a hobby I loved, and he could see the changes I had made. In my past he would have assumed I would have sold it and burned him on the payback, but now it is almost like he is proud of me, like he was when I hit my first (probably only) homerun, or caught my first fish. Effort does not go unnoticed.
You might relapse, and that’s ok, just don’t let it get you down. If you do relapse, the family that you reconnected with will more than likely be very disappointed, but that’s ok too, they love you and are watching you poison yourself, put yourself in their shoes, you would be disappointed too. I have kids of my own, some of which are almost adults, and some of their decisions disappoint me, decisions I once made myself when I was their age. You see we get disappointed in our children when despite our many warnings, they go ahead and make the same mistakes we did, as if we don’t already know how it is going to play out. I just rest easy knowing that one day, they will call me, needing to reconnect with me. And when they do I may be disappointed, but I will welcome them with open arms.